Tackling yet another feruzius issue
I Lost My Mind And Quit The Medium Partner Program
Wild Experiment #645
Yes, I’m at it again
I’ve got my Louis Theroux investigative journalist beret on again, and I’m getting to the bottom of another stinky issue. So far, I covered the weed for writers thing:
And I tried out a gloryhole:
But this shit is next level.
I’d already read a few articles about writers quitting the Partner Program, but they generally seemed to be using it as a dramatic clickbait title or citing flaccid reasons like,
‘I don’t want money to dictate what I write about’.
Please excuse me while I take a cold shower.
Anyway, I came across this article by this guy Conor Dewey:
Conor has 9000 followers on Medium, so he is no tiny prawn like the person who wrote the first quote and had 180 followers.
And I found Conor’s reasons enticing. He says in the article that views on his stories tripled immediately after he quit the Partner program.
That’s right, I said tripled.
That’s right, I said that’s right, I said tripled.
And crack den lightbulb went off in my head.
I thought if I triple my views, I could get an increase in click-throughs to the Substack newsletter that I never write and my cockrocket.com page.
So I quit.
That was two weeks ago.
And look, I do alright on Medium. I don’t make enough to buy a Lamborghini, but I make enough to buy a plate of linguini. And for hard-up arse pimping writers like us, it’s a welcome bonus every month, like waking up with an erection on a full moon.
So it was a sacrifice. But was it worth it?
I would say yes and no, more specifically, no. Don’t even think about it, you fornicating drug squirrels. So far, anyway.
I can officially tell you that my views have not improved after two weeks. They have deceased. RIP Frank’s views.
And look, I have been writing fuck all because I’ve been publishing my book called BALLBAG.
But I’ve always had a steady but below-average stream of views on my past articles, which has disappeared completely.
And I got to wondering if it is in Medium’s best interests to have you in the Partner Program. Do they care if you are in or out? The algorithm seems to think so.
I looked up Conor Dewey on Medium, and not surprisingly, he has been back in the Partner Program for a while.
I felt duped by the bastard.
I mean, it’s probably not his fault. He has just gone,
Wow, this is great
and then it’s all gone to shit, and he has gone crawling back with his cock between his legs like a novice she-man.
Or, he has realised that the money you get from writing in The Startup with nine grand in followers heavily outweighs the clickthroughs to newsletters you can’t be fucked writing.
Still, I am one to follow shit through to the end to give a thorough report on what’s happening.
I mean, we’re all trying to find our way through this foggy brain maze to get to a place where we are happy with our writing and how we are rewarded for it financially, like Pretty Woman in Pretty Woman.
Right now, it feels like I am being sexually assaulted by George Costanza and I’m waiting for Richard Gere to come in and pull him off.
When I say pull him off, I mean — ah fuck it.
So I’ll continue this for another two weeks since that was my commitment, and we all know what happens when we break commitments, right?
