Technology is shite

Youtube Is Fucking Broken

Just another example of dipshit humans ruining good things.

Frank T Bird
3 min readDec 19, 2021

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Image: Wikicommons

I like to watch videos of people walking around in the rain.

It feels so damn good to follow someone in a thunderstorm in New York aka the City of Apples or whatever.

Fing is, though, I ain’t no one-dimensional bastard. So why am I only allowed to have one thing that I am interested in?

Why does Youtube assume that because I’ve watched a couple, it’s ALL I want to god damn watch?

Isn’t it a little extreme?

I’ve been using this damn platform for many years, and I still have yet to work out the answer to a simple question:

How do I discover new shit?

It’s not a hard question, I don’t think. I’m not asking you to explain fucking Mullholland Drive to me.

I know what you are going to say:

Frank, have you tried clicking the EXPLORE tab, you idiot?

Why yes, yes I have, and you know what I got?

  • Some rich cockend called Mr Beast who earns a ton of money by making videos about throwing his money around. If that isn’t a Ponzi scheme, I don’t know what is.
  • An exploding glitter bomb where someone is trashing the reputation of a legitimate package thief by entrapment.
  • A video with 4.6 million views of a teenage girl making fucking soup
  • A guy who has made a 1:50,000 model of his undersized knob in Minecraft.

I’m caught in a motherfucking rain video loop, and I can’t get out.

I don’t suppose it would be too much to ask to have at least one thing in the EXPLORE tab that is vaguely close to my interests, would it?

The answer is no. And why? Two reasons actually:

1.) Humans are simple fuckwits that enjoy watching the same shit again and again

2.) Youtube does not give a flying fuck about anything except making money.

Again, I know what you are thinking….

Frank, why don’t you type what you are looking for in the search bar?

What is this 2018? Am I supposed to do all the thinking myself?

I mean, after ten years, you would think Youtube would at least know me a little.

In their astounding dedication to recording every motherfucking piece of information about absolutely everyone, you would think that Google would at least be partially using it to improve the experience. But no. That would be a nice thing in this fucked up world and you know that's just not possible.

I’ve had enough.

What would it be like to have no Youtube for a month?

And, are we so fucked that it is such a terrifying prospect?

Yes, yes we are.

I might go check out 1970 and see what she is up to.

See ya later.

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